Ashes to Ashes

There's a bitter taste down here this morning as the nation comes to terms with yet another sporting failure. On these occasions, the media takes it upon itself to cushion the blow. ABC's Radio National (the loose equivalent of Radio 4) ran a sports bulletin that mentioned that the final Test had been drawn but omitted the fact that England had won the Ashes. (This is quite normal. If any Aussie wins a bronze medal in a major sporting event, we never hear who won gold, as it is clearly immaterial).

The Sydney Morning Herald was a little more generous, pointing out that the triumph was almost entirely due to a South African-born batsman. My colleague, Greg, agreed wholeheartedly, adding that there were also two Welshman in the side. And this from a nation of immigrants. The Australian remarked that it was a South African who broke Australian hearts, though he is best mates with Warney, so that makes it a bit better.

A senior member of the House of Representatives congratulated me as we entered Parliament House this morning and noted that England played the better cricket. I though this was magnamimous and relayed his comments to Greg, who promptly remarked: "No, we played worse." The real tragedy is that this opportunity for glee is mostly lost on me. I did try watching it on Sunday night but nothing seemed to be happening and then I became confused by the issue of "the light" (a revelation, perhaps?) and went to bed.

For guidance in all Australian sporting matters, I usually turn to the writings of Scratcher Gillespie at The Bladder I suggest you do too.

Some Success

I feel I should report that the Australian women's rowing eight (see Down Under and Out below) did bounce back from adversity to win a gold medal at the World Championships, all eight finishing sitting up and holding their oars. The Wallabies, however, did go down to the All Blacks. Coach Eddie Jones said the players just weren't good enough. This is good news for the northern hemisphere where the Wallabies will be touring shortly and bad news in this neck of the woods, representing a shocking blow to the national psyche. A lot rests on the Ashes.

Down Under and Out

We’re having a national crisis of confidence at the moment. Of course, it’s all about sport.

The Wallabies (that’s rugby union) have lost their last four matches which hasn’t happened since dinosaurs roamed the earth and there are calls for heads to roll (it’s very Welsh, really). They face a rampant All Blacks on Saturday. One luminary said that no one feared the side’s tight five because “they couldn’t pull a boy scout off your sister.”

Aussie tennis players are leaving tennis tournaments even quicker than Tim Henman. And as for the cricket - well, as you probably know, with one test to go and all to play for, when the team isn’t attacking the opposition, they’re attacking each other. So with the Ashes and the Tri-Nations to be decided at the weekend, and the rugby a foregone conclusion (we're going to lose), they can at least look to rowing for some meagre consolation.

You’ll remember the outrage at the last Olympics when the women’s eight was going strong for a medal and one of team, Sally Robbins, stopped for a rest, sorry, collapsed with exhaustion. Here’s a picture....


Un-Australian activity

The team are now back in business and have been competing in the World Championships in Japan, minus poor Sally and most of the rest of the Olympic competitors, apparently consumed by bitterness. Well, back in business, apart from a broken oar that lost them their heat and put them out of the competition. But, just to show it’s not all gloom and doom, I offer you this quote from their high-peformance director, Neil Donaldson: “At least they all finished sitting up.”