Shark tales

Just back from a trip to Sydney, this time to show Iwan the sights, which have to include the wonderful Aquarium. There you not only get to see everything from seadragons to the massive Murray cod, but also a group of large sharks.

Visitors can walk through glass tubes in the huge tank they share with sting rays, turtles and presumably nervous fish and it’s probably the only chance you’ll get to appreciate their muscularity, the malevolence of their eyes and the horror of their rows of inward-pointing teeth and emerge with all your flesh.

Even though they spend so much time in the water, people here are pretty relaxed about sharks. As one surfer with all his limbs said to me: “Yes, there are sharks out there but there are also very large trucks on the highway which can do an equally good job of spoiling your day.” In fact, many of these road trains end up on their sides after mysteriously failing to take bends which have been bends on that bit of road for a very long time and therefore shouldn’t come as a surprise to any driver but that’s another matter.

Anyway, here are two sharks tales which say a lot about the Australian attitude to what David Attenborough would no doubt describe as “these complex and fascinating predators.”

Matt, a vet who lives near Coffs was pleased one morning to find only one other surfer in the water on his favourite beach so quickly made his way out to the break. After a while he noticed the other surfer leave the water and limp slowly up the path to the car park. A small crowd then gathered on the path, apparently watching Matt. Watching surfers is a pleasant and common pastime so he didn’t think anything of it.

When he’d had his fill, Matt left the water and made his way up the path toward the crowd. As he approached, one man came toward him and asked: “So you didn’t see the shark, then?”

“What shark?” Matt inquired.

“The one that bit that other guy.”

And, no, Matt tells me he didn’t feel particularly aggrieved that they hadn’t warned him. It’s all about perception of risk, apparently, and also quite amusing.

The other story was in several newspapers and therefore must be true. On a beach to the south of here, a surfer suddenly found a small shark firmly attached to his leg. Remaining calm, he left the water and tried to encourage the shark to let go but it wouldn’t. So he walked (rather awkwardly, no doubt) to his car and drove himself to the nearest surf life saving club. I’m assuming that all his mates were too busy surfing to take the wheel.

When he arrived, he told the lifeguards of his predicament (“excuse me, mate, I’ve got a shark stuck on my leg”) and, when they stopped laughing, they put him and the shark in a freshwater shower and the shark finally let go. The papers were silent on the fate of the shark but I’m also assuming that they then cooked and ate it. That would seem about right.