The Birds

Somehow, when I first fell foul of Australian wildlife, I expected that it would be a spider or a snake and not a bird. It was something of a surprise.

The first hint of trouble came when I was cycling happily along the Orara Valley, which is the neck of the woods where Russell Crowe lives and I think I saw his security lodge from the road. He's popular around here - I passed the club house and pitch of the Orara Valley Axemen, the local rugby league club that he's helped, and he's contributed to many other community projects. And he and his band, Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts - Thirty Odd Foot - play in local hotels.

Anyway, I was just thinking about how pleasant it was to cycle 42k without having to negotiate a road junction, when I noticed a bird-shaped shadow on the road beside me and then heard a swish of air just above and behind my head. This was repeated, together with some caw-ing, and then I was left in peace.

I thought no more of it until yesterday - rural doesn't even begin to describe the Orara Valley so you might expect wildlife that didn't know its place - when I was riding in the seaside suburb of Sawtell, heard another swish of air and then felt a resounding blow on the top of my helmet. Again, the attack came from behind so I couldn't see the bird. I was wondering whether I should get off, so I could get a swing at the thing, when it had another go. Obviously a bright bird, this time it came in from the side and clouted me behind my ear. Luckily, there's a uncoloured bit of helmet there, which the bird hadn't noticed. Then it cleared off.

Research showed one of these was the likely culprit.....

Australian magpie

It looks very pointy to me, which explains the gouge marks I discovered in my helmet when I got home. Around this time of year, they mate, nest and turn nasty, according to the Queensland Environment Protection Agency - Queensland EPA - which advises bike riders to wear a helmet (you're telling me - I would have had gouge marks in my head otherwise) and to fit an orange traffic flag (I'm not at all sure about this).

Pedestrians are advised to wear a hat or carry an umbrella, and you can even try painting a large eye on the top. Someone suggested I paint an eye on my helmet but they clearly don't appreciate the aesthetics of serious bike-riding. Oh yes, and according to the QEPA "learning to live with magpies can be rewarding." I suppose we should be grateful that the local pelicans don't turn stroppy in September.