Surf School of Life

Sign up here....

Back in the endless summer of my youth, I took up the offer of being taught to surf by a friend who was working as a lifeguard at Southerndown Beach. The lessons, or rather, the lesson, went something like this: “this is the surf board, there’s the sea, and try not to hit any bathers.” And after a few hours, I was standing proud, threading a path through any swimmers not wise enough to get out of my way.

It’s very different now. We gave each other surfing lessons for Christmas and I’m writing this with what might be a cracked rib. Certainly feels as though it could be. I have no idea how it happened, at some stage in the first lesson. No further damage was done in the second lesson. Sara has lost the skin from one knee and the ability to move her arms. Sister-in-law-to-be Sian has retired after doing a fair impression of Robinson Crusoe being washed ashore clinging to a piece of driftwood after days at sea. Brother-in-law-to-be Colin seems remarkably perky and unscathed, apart from also complaining about sore ribs.

Our instructress, Erica, seemed rather surprised when we turned up for the second lesson. I don’t think she has to deal with many people of our age. She appears to have the flexibility of a brand-new elastic band, which makes manoeuvres like the “Five Toes” look very easy, especially when she’s showing you on the beach. But my right foot has never seen the need to get very close to my groin before and shows no sign of wanting to do so now. Also, I have trouble with the lunge for the vertical that follows the “Five Toes” so, between applying ice packs to my ribs, I have been lunging in the lounge. I may be getting the hang of it, at least indoors, but you‘ve got to start somewhere. Both Colin and I have, however, stood up briefly. On a wave.

Somehow, it all seemed so easy at Southerndown and I remember catching the waves and rising to my feet with one single, gazelle-like movement. I can’t think what’s changed. Perhaps it will come to me when we have our next lesson tomorrow.